Allergies

Allergies are the devil. I take allergy medicine every single day but it still isn't enough. I am constantly sneezing and scratching my nose and sniffling. That's definitely one down fall of spring time. I can't wait until summer though, so I guess I will just tough it out until then.

I'm moving home Wednesday and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know i'm going to try and be forced to take care of things that aren't my responsibility and be put down when I don't do something. It's kind of sucky feeling KNOWING that it's coming and I can't do anything about it.

I'm excited to be away from homework and quizzes and tests, but sometimes I think all of that would be better than what I deal with at home.

Today

Today is a lovely day. I took 3 melatonin gummies and slept for 9 hours. It was beautiful. People have been mistaking me for being really young (like 12), so I decided today that I would curl my hair, actually try to do my makeup, and look nice. It surprisingly makes me feel super ready for the day and I don't feel like a tween anymore. Then, the project that I was worried my children's literature teacher would fail me on because I didn't have a shoe box, ended up working out so I don't have to have a shoe box, which means I'm finally done with all my projects for her. As long as this day keeps going how it's going, it is going to be a wonderful day. It's nice ending the year on a good note.

Children's Literature

Children's Literature is, what I believe, to be a class sent straight up from hell by Satan himself. I thought that it would be a fun class, but to my disappointment it was one of the most annoying, frustrating, and monotonous classes I have ever had in my entire life. I wanted to pull my hair our virtually every Tuesday and Thursday because of it, and spent many nights flipping out because of all the excessive and tedious work that had to be done. I just finished the last summary I will ever have to do for that class and there is large amount of happiness and joy racing through me right now. If I could do a back flip, I would. I only have to sit in that class and do work 2 more times and I have never been happier to be done with a class.


Thank you sweet baby Jesus...it is OVER.

The semester is ending (!!!!!)

The semester is finally coming to an end. While I'm very excited to be done with classes, it is really really REALLY weird to think that I am about to finish my first semester of college. It really flew by. My professors are really packing down the work, and I think I might have a mental breakdown by the time I'm finished here, but hey, every day is a day closer to summer. I just can't wait to be [virtually] stress free and enjoy my summer before I come back and do it all again.

23 days!

I think the title needs to be explained

I have given my blog the title of "What am I doing here?" I feel like it deserves some kind of explanation, because that's kind of a big question. First, lets start off with a little background information... I was raised by my two parents, and lived with my older sister my whole life. My parent's never went to college, my sister never went to college, and up until my sophomore year of high school, I was under the impression that "college wasn't for everyone," because that's what I had grown up being told, so I was just planning to go to BCTC for 2 years and get a degree in medical assisting. All of that changed when I met my boyfriend, Travis. He was so determined and had all of these goals, and he opened my eyes and made me realize that I could do a lot more than medical assisting, and that I should want to do more than that. After that, my life made a huge turn around. I became more driven, and I didn't really listen to what my parents told me, because it was more about what they wanted and less of what was best for me. So I went through the rest of my high school years with Travis helping me to make better decisions for myself, and I thought we would be going to college together, and that I'd have him help me here too. But Travis goes to school 7 hours away from here now, and I'm alone. My parents still want me to do what is better for them and not myself, and without him being here, I feel totally lost, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing here half of the time. I don't know where I want to be, I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and I just don't know about life right now. Life is weird, and it's complicated and confusing, and some days I just sit back and think, "what am I even doing here right now?" So that kind of explains my title and my crazy and confusing thought process on everything.

P.S. Blogging is nice. It's like a rant where no one can tell me to shut up. :)